Advice from mom on sex

Three teenage boys in the house. We have had the sex discussion before, but now it’s getting real. I do not want them jumping into anything, but at the same time, I want them to know they ALWAYS need a condom. There were a few other things I thought they should know too. Below are mom’s advice to her (my) teenage sons in a box of condoms:

READ BELOW SEVERAL TIMES. We are always here for questions.

  •  Notice the expiration date. It does not expire for a long time. Expiration dates can come and go and we can throw them out and start over with a new box.

  •  There are a million things you can do before you do It.

  •  Sex is a two-way street: both willing, wanting and both equally as satisfied by the other.

  •  This is between you two only. It’s not conversation to be discussed between people at school or work. Talk to each-other about who you will tell and make sure they understand this is a private, personal matter.

  •  You are never OWED anything. Never guilt a girl into thinking you deserve sex.

  •  It’s not just about you (wham, bam, thank you ma’am). Make her just as happy (Discuss what makes her happy, feels good and learn about what feels good for them).

  • Your thing will not fall off if you do not have sex. Use your hand.

  •  Do not be afraid to communicate.

  •  There are a million things you can do before you do It.

  •  Sex outcomes are not only pregnancy and diseases. There are emotions that can last and effect you for a lifetime.

  • Sex has a lot of emotions on both ends of the spectrum.

    •        Excitement/regret/shame, Love/embarrassment/hurt, Pleasure/pain/stress

    • Feeling used is a common emotion associated with sex. This can lead to depression.

    • Sex can lead to feeling of total and utter fear: I missed a period, someone found out, something down there feels weird, etc

  •  Always use a condom. No matter what.

    • Contraception for women really messes them up. Stick with condoms.

  •  Know that sex can be embarrassing. There are noises, smells, sounds, that you don’t expect.

  • Sometimes sex hurts (during or after). Understand that happens. There could be infection, a cyst, rubbed raw, etc. Don’t do it if it hurts. Find out why.

  •  Know what the parts are. Know the girl’s part that will satisfy her.

  •  Know that a women’s MOST fertile time (not the only time) is days 5-14 in her cycle. Start counting the day she gets her period, that’s day 1.

  • Sperm lives for up to 5-7 days in the uterus.

  •  Making love is not what you see in porn. Porn is not a “how to”.

  • It’s also not what you see in the movies. It’s much more complicated.

  •  There are a million things you can do before you do It.

  •  If you have big emotional ups and downs, feelings of entitlement, depression…hold off. Get those in check first. You don’t need to add more layers.

  •  There is a lot to learn. Keep communication open and don’t try to be an instant expert.

  •  Coconut oil.